With feet back on U.S. soil, I am overcome with emotion, overcome by the power of God, and overcome by reality.

How do I put the last month into words? How do I convey the sense of comfort and family that was created between the 42 of us? How do I merge this experience with reality?

I could write for pages on the various sessions we covered- everything from conflict management and relationship building to Wesley 101 and itineration. I could speak endlessly about each of the 42 Fellows and how his or her story has affected my life or changed my view on something. So, instead of writing a novel, I want to include some significant quotes and thoughts from the month…

• “God said, “And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn’t it I, God? So, get going. I’ll be right there with you—with your mouth! I’ll be right there to teach you what to say.” -Exodus 4:11-12
• “I see a generation rising up to take their place.” -Hosanna (Hillsong)
• “I know the Lord will not give me anything I can’t handle, I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.” -Mother Teresa
• “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet have ever wandered, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior!” -Oceans (Hillsong)
• “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” -Proverbs 19:21

I am taking with me…stories and love of a new family, my dear Global Mission Fellow sisters and brothers. I am taking with me new cultural music and sense of worship. I am taking with me accountability partners and prayers. I am taking with me a newfound vision of God’s mission.

I learned….that the Global Church is difficult! I learned that being vulnerable often results in shared connections.

In my heart, I take with me…abounding joy, a newfound peace, and the love in Filipino hospitality. “If your heart is in my heart, give me your hand.” -John Wesley

I have left behind….fear of being along on this journey. I have left behind expectations and generalizations of the world.

Lord, I praise you having taken me into your arms 22 years ago. I am a child of You, oh heavenly Mother. You have blessed me with positive relationships and an abundant life to grow in Your Word. But Lord, I am broken and praise you for this brokenness that makes me so vulnerable and human, for out of this brokenness You give strength and humility. Lord, let me be taken for Your mission, let me be blessed for Your mission, let me be broken for Your mission, and let me be given for Your mission. I am called. I am being sent. Now give me to the world, oh God. Amen.

With this prayer in my heart, I continue to find peace in my call to China. The Amity Foundation has placed both myself and a Fellow named Arnold at the Ningxia University to teach! The catch is that the 3-week intensive Amity teacher training starts on Thursday….and since the visa process has not been completed, we are not able to book a plane ticket! Right now it is all God’s timing and I am taking life day by day in prayer.

I ask that you pray for the Amity leaders in China who are trying to expedite this process. Pray for continued peace for myself and my family as we cope with letting go of control. Also pray for all 42 Fellows as each of us pack, say goodbyes, and continue to prepare our hearts for service.