Today's Lectionary Text
“Be still, and know that I am God!
Anxiety is something I have lived with for a good part of my adult life. A little voice in the back of my head questioning each thought and decision. It’s funny as I look back the things and events anxiety made me worry about.
When I was diagnosed with cancer, the doctor who gave me the news offered to increase my anxiety medication. I deferred knowing I could call at any time and have it increased. Going through all the preliminary testing, 16 rounds of chemo over 20 weeks and now preparing for surgery, I’m amazed at the sense of peace that has become a part of my daily life. The small badgering voice has retreated and quiet has replaced it.
Over the last few months instead of pushing myself I’ve learned instead to listen. The need to do more, more, more has morphed into do what you can. In a world that constantly tells us to do more, be busy, and if you aren’t stressed you aren’t doing enough, I’ve been able to sit back, push back and even say no, something I wouldn’t have dreamed of being able to do before.
My hope is that when this trial is through I don’t revert to my anxious, busy ways. I hope to take the lessons of treatment and keep the sense of peace that it unexpectedly gave me. Cancer may have redirected my life for five months, but it taught me many things, introduced me to amazing medical professionals, given me a sense of peace, and has allowed me to draw closer in my faith. In forcing me to slow down I have a new appreciation for entering His presence in stillness and knowing He holds me near.
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Prayer for Reflection
Heavenly Father, thank you for your patience with us. Help us to see the need to slow down before we are forced to do so. Draw us near to you and help us to be comfortable in the stillness.
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