Today's Lectionary Text
And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.
We are entering the end of October and I admit I’m thankful for it. October is breast cancer awareness month and the last two years I’ve been a very vocal advocate for breast cancer screenings and self-checks, adding messages to my social media daily to urge women to have their mammograms and know their family history. I felt like if I could help just one person it would be a success.
Pink used to be one of my favorite colors and I’m a little sick of it. It’s been co-opted by organizations, retailers, and everyone under the sun for advertisements that yes do bring awareness to breast cancer but the more I learn about some of the big organizations profiting the more discouraged I get.
It doesn’t help that this year I have two family members fighting different types of cancers, both older than me, with different prognosis from each other and I’m heart sick, soul sick and just plain weary. Every time we turn on an NFL game, we hear about how more late-stage cancers are being diagnosed this year because of delayed screenings due to the pandemic. It’s hard to hear that repetitive message when you have loved ones in treatment.
I’m on the struggle bus as I shared with the conference staff in our weekly devotion time. I’m one of the lucky ones who found my tumor early and had successful treatment. I do have some survivor’s guilt. I suppose its something I will have to deal with. I’m probably not going to be one of those survivors who goes on to run marathons, gives big speeches, or finds other front of the room ways of inspiring people to raise money for research, run donation drives for supplies or create programs to help patients in treatment. Intentional or not there’s a lot of pressure put on survivors. We aren’t sure what to do after cancer, and it takes some time to acclimate back to life after because its never the same as before.
I am doing well, doing everything I can to prevent recurrence, listening to my doctors and trying hard not to think about what happens if I have to do it all over again. If I do I know that God will be with me, just like he was the first time and has been with me since. He’s with me now, sitting right next to me on the struggle bus.
The bible doesn’t say its going to be easy, I don’t think that’s ever been the promise. The promise is I will be with you. That’s where I put my trust.
Communications administrative assistant
Prayer for Reflection
Lord of All, thank you for sitting patiently next to me as I sit and struggle. For listening to me as I cry out in frustration and my sighs too deep for words. You have been by my side since the beginning and no matter the terrain, the challenge, or the rough road ahead we do all of it together. Amen
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